The Experiment
by sartiebodyshots
Summary: Sam and Artie wake up in a spaceship and the aliens demand they have sex. As alien loving boyfriends, they readily agree. Written for the free space on my trope bingo card- Fuck or Die.


"Where are we?" Artie asked, looking around, but it was too dark to see anything. When Sam didn't respond, Artie started groping to find him. He found a leg, but for all he knew someone else could be in with them. Reluctantly, he got out of his chair so he could more easily feel his way up Sam's body. With each pat, he grew more certain he was feeling his boyfriend, and once he reached his face, he was sure. Good. He could hear Sam breathing at a fairly regular rate, which had to be a good sign. Artie poked him a little bit in his stomach to try to get him to stir. When Sam started moving, Artie breathed a sigh of relief.

"Where are we?" Sam asked groggily.

"I don't know. I just woke up in my chair and tried to wake you up," Artie said.

"Yeah, I felt that. Ouch. Next time try the sleeping beauty approach before you decide to bruise me all up," Sam mock complained.

Artie laughed and shook his head. "I'll try to keep that in mind next time we're… wherever we are." He scooted back to his chair and climbed back in it. If whoever was around came back, he wanted to be able to slip away if they had the chance.

Sam clapped twice and then sighed.

"What was that?" Artie asked.

"I was hoping the lights were clap on clap off," Sam said forlornly.

Artie laughed and leaned down to tug on Sam's leg to encourage him to get up. Sam decided to clamor into his lap instead. Even better, honestly. "Maybe next time we get snatched by…" He was about to make some witty remark, but he heard footsteps approaching.

Part of the wall slid open and light shined in, making Artie blink as his eyes adjusted. He resisted the urge to hold Sam to him tightly.

"Oh my god, Artie…" Sam said breathlessly.

It took Artie a few more seconds of blinking before he could see properly, but when he did, he understood why Sam was so excited. Whoever had taken them didn't look entirely… human. It sounded insane, but the beings standing in front of him were definitely not human. Humanoid, yes, but human, no. Their skin was an ashy gray color, but Artie wasn't even entirely sure that it was skin. It was glistening. Maybe it was scales? They also seemed kind of tall and willowy, but he wasn't always the best judge of height. Their hair, at least, looked like human hair, but brightly colored. Beautiful.

"Sam, I think we're in an episode of Star Trek," Artie whispered excitedly.

The humanoids made some clicking noises before gesturing pretty clearly for them to follow them. Sam hopped off Artie's lap so they could follow the aliens easily. Artie and Sam were both wide eyed, taking in everything. When Artie saw the earth through a window, he tugged hard on Sam's sleeve and they stopped to look.

"We're in orbit," Sam whispered.

Artie grinned up at Sam, reaching over to squeeze his hand. He knew how much Sam adored astronomy, and his face was absolutely lit up with joy. Standing there awestruck, bathed in the light of the earth, Sam was at his most gorgeous, in Artie's not so humble opinion.

After half a minute, one of their alien captors tugged on Sam's sleeve roughly and Sam was reluctantly dragged from the viewport. Sam was still glowing as they moved on.

Another panel slid open and the aliens gestured them into it. This room had better lighting than the last. It appeared to be an observation room, as there were clear panels and he could see other aliens behind. The only thing in the room itself was what looked like a bed with a bottle on it.

One of the aliens with them made more clicking noises, and then after a few seconds, a computerized voice started speaking in stilted English. "We're studying the behavior of the human male."

"Well, we are human males," Sam said, nodding. After a few seconds, there was computerized clicking.

After some more clicking, the computerized voice spoke again, "Please demonstrate your mating rituals for us. Or else."

Sam and Artie both looked at each other in surprise. That was an unexpected twist. A few seconds of silent conversation later, and Artie turned to smile at the aliens.

"We're game!" Artie said, pushing himself towards the bed.

"If you decide that you want to join in, we'd totally be down for a threeway," Sam added, already tugging his shirt off.

After another round of clicking and the computer voice said, "Our biology is most likely incompatible with your own."

"Too bad," Artie said, transferring to the bed. "We're really good at our mating rituals. If you figure out how to join in, you're more than welcome."

Sadly, the aliens retreated without another click and let the door slide shut behind them. Maybe next time.

Artie grinned at Sam as he crawled on top of him. "Some sleepover, huh?" he said, running his hands along his boyfriend's naked torso.

Sam practically tore Artie's shirt off before leaning down to kiss and suck on Artie's neck. "You know, I never thought I'd be into being watched," he murmured, "and I definitely never thought I'd be inviting someone else into bed with us- I like knowing I have you and your hot body all to myself- but I'm actually totally down with this whole thing."

Artie wasn't able to form a coherent reply, too distracted by Sam's tongue. Unbuttoning Sam's pants seemed like a better thing to do than talk anyway. Once they were both unbuttoned, he tapped Sam's hips so he would move and they could get both of their pants off.

Grinning up at Sam, Artie slowly flipped them over so he was on top so he could kiss Sam. Sam looked down at him wide eyed and said, "Artie, there's no-" but his back hit the bed before he could say anything else.

Artie looked down at him, confused. "What?"

"I thought the bed was too small… It definitely was…" Sam said.

Now that he mentioned it, Artie did realize the bed seemed to have shifted. He rolled off Sam (to his protest) and crawled to the edge of the bed. When he reached the edge of the bed, the bed shifted and spread out so that it still spread out a few inches ahead of him. He smiled and looked back at Sam… who was too distracted by his ass to notice that the bed had suddenly shifted.

"Sam! Look!" Artie said, deciding to show him by rolling towards the edge of the bed. Like before, it stretched out in front him, keeping him from falling off.

Artie's butt was temporarily forgotten as Sam decided that this was pretty much one of the coolest things ever. He stood up, wobbling, and jumped towards the edge of the bed. Artie watched in delight as the bed slid out to catch him, even stretching when Sam stumbled and landed on his stomach.

"Man, alien beds are great!" Sam said, getting right back up to take another leap. "We need to get ourselves one of these."

"I wonder what other cool things they have hidden," Artie said, trying to roll off the bed again. It was weird to anticipate the fall, but not feel it.

"Do you guys have zero-g?" Sam asked the windows where the aliens were observing them. "I think having sex in zero-gravity would be pretty cool!"

"Can you imagine?" Artie said, thinking it through. "So many new positions we could try."

"We are trying to observe your normal mating rituals," the computer voice said. "Our records indicate that your species does not mate in zero-gravity."

"Can't you make an exception? Observe our species' mating rituals in a slightly altered environment?" Artie asked, laying back to look up at them.

"No, please proceed with your mating ritual," the computer said.

Sam hopped over to Artie and landed in a pile in front of him.

"My graceful boyfriend," Artie said, snorting as he fixed a stray lock of Sam's hair. "What do you say we get this show started?"

"Hey, you naked is already a pretty good start on a show," Sam said, pulling Artie on top of him as he laid back. "They're probably horny as hell."

"I think this is more science than voyeurism," Artie said, kissing Sam's neck again. "Or else we would probably get the zero gravity sex."

"Scientists get horny," Sam said, running his hands up and down Artie's back. "It could be both."

"Still think that means we should get zero gravity sex," Artie murmured. He began peppering Sam's collarbones with kisses, moving slowly down his body.

"I agree," Sam said, breathing growing more ragged the closer Artie got to his dick. "Maybe if we can get it up for a round two. Do it against the ceiling."

Artie didn't pause his kissing to reply until he was level with Sam's dick. "Or just in midair," he suggested, "The thought of literally only feeling each other while we have sex is stupidly romantically appealing."

Sam groaned as Artie started sucking on the head of his cock. "It is," he barely managed to agree. When Artie started deepthroating him, Sam moaned and couldn't help but ball his fists up. "Yeah, do you like the taste of my cock?" he said, trying to sound deep and seductive like the guys he had heard in porn.

Suddenly, Artie started choking on his dick and had to pull off. He laid on his back, and Sam realized he was _laughing _at him.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," Artie said, trying to control himself. "I just… Sam that makes it sound like we're in a terrible porno." He looked up at the aliens watching them. "Well, maybe we are. But we don't have to sound like it. I don't know if I can do this when you sound like that."

Sam was blushing. "'m sorry," he mumbled.

"Sam…" Artie said, crawling so he could kiss Sam's cheek and smile at him, hopefully reassuringly. "It's just that you're not a porn star, you know? I mean, you're hot enough if you decided to make that career choice, but you're my sweet, nerdy boyfriend, not some porno cardboard loser."

"I guess it did sound really weird," Sam said, starting to laugh along with Artie.

"So maybe a little less porn starry?" Artie said. "Please."

"I don't want you to start laughing around my dick again," Sam said. He was still laughing. "It hurts the self esteem."

"Your dick is certainly nothing to laugh at. Around. Either," Artie said, reaching down to stroke it as he started kissing Sam hard.

After a few minutes, Sam straddled Artie, reaching around for wherever the bottle had gotten off to. He assumed it had lube in it. When he couldn't find it, he had to regretfully break off their kissing. After a few seconds, he saw that it had rolled to the far side of the bed room.

He scampered to get it, but instead of straight up returning to straddle Artie, he stopped just outside of Artie's reach. Smirking at Artie, he squirted some of the hopefully lube onto his fingers. He sniffed it, and it seemed close enough to lube that he bent over so that the aliens (and Artie) could watch him stretch himself. It wasn't hard to make it obscene, and the moaning only made it more so. Artie wanted to reach out to grab him and start fucking him right away, but he was also mesmerized by how flexible and sexy his boyfriend was.

Artie leaned over to take the discarded bottle, keeping his eyes on Sam as he started lubing up his dick. It was tempting to jerk himself off to watching Sam, but he knew being patient would be rewarded. Sure enough, in a few minutes, Sam pulled his fingers out of his ass and crawled onto Artie's lap.

He hovered over Artie's dick for a few seconds, breathing to steady himself, before slowly lowering himself onto Artie. Sam closed his eyes and moved slowly. Artie was careful not to touch or jostle him. He knew that he was pretty well endowed, and that made it rough for Sam sometimes, especially if Artie started doing too much moving before he was ready.

Once Sam was fucking himself properly on his dick, Artie was sure he was okay, so he started slowly running his fingers along all of the parts of Sam that were attractive and in reach. Which was an awful lot of him.

When Sam had settled into a rhythm, Artie grinned wickedly at him. "Ooooooooh baby," Artie fake cooed, "Do you like riding my big cock?"

Sam worked his jaw for a minute, like he was working something out, and then burst out laughing. "You're right," he said, "It is really hard to keep going when you talk like that."

"You did pretty well," Artie said, smiling as he started stroking Sam's cock. "You managed to stay on my cock, after all." He used his other hand to pull Sam in for a hard kiss even though they were both still laughing hard.

Sam kissed him back just as hard, rocking his hips faster and faster as Artie kept stroking him. In a few minutes, Artie felt Sam start shaking erratically as he neared his climax. A quick brush over the sensitive head of Sam's cock, and Sam came hard, shooting his semen across Artie's abs. When he was done, he kept fucking himself on Artie's dick until Artie had come too, yelling Sam's name loudly.

Now that they were both satiated, Sam let himself collapse on top of Artie, who wrapped his arms around him to hold him tight. Sam nuzzled his face against Artie's neck gently, making them both smile.

Artie was about to murmur something when the door opened. They turned to look at the aliens standing there.

"It is time for you to depart," the computer said.

"Hey," Artie said, growing drowsy, "This is a very important part of our mating ritual. The ritual cuddling."

Sam nodded. "It's hardly mating if you don't cuddle. Gotta cuddle."

"You have both reached climax. Your ritual is completed," the computer said.

Artie was about to protest, but he felt himself slipping into unconsciousness.

The next morning, he found himself fully pj'ed, and cuddled up with Sam. He sat up, blinking. Something seemed kinda weird.

"Sam…" He shook his boyfriend's shoulder gently.

"Please get your probe out," Sam muttered sleepily.

"What did you say?" Artie said, waking Sam up properly. "Probe?"

"Uh yeah," Sam said, curling up closer to Artie. "I just had a weird dream."

"Aliens?" Artie said slowly.

"Actually, yeah. And some really great sex," Sam said, kissing him. "How'd you guess?"

"Because I also had a really great sex dream involving aliens," Artie said.

"Really?" Sam asked, bolting upright excitedly, "You know what this means, right? We actually were kidnapped by aliens so they could watch us have sex!"

"No way…" Artie said, but he was grinning, "That's the coolest thing ever! We were real alien experiments."

"Pretty fun experiments too, if I remember correctly," Sam said.

"Of course," Artie said, pulling Sam back on top of him. "Any and all experimenting with you is plenty fun."

"What about that time we-"

"Shh, we don't talk about that," Artie said, putting his finger to Sam's lips. Looking as innocent as he could, Sam wrapped his lips around Artie's finger. Artie groaned. "Rude."

"Maybe we should get ready for the next time the aliens decide they need someone to study," Sam said around Artie's finger, sucking in another one.

"Definitely. That way we can convince them to join in this time," Artie said. When Sam mumbled something unintelligible around his finger, Artie just laughed and nodded. "Let's get to it, then."


End file.
